The Imaginary Leaked Chiam Document, Giraffe Babygate, Harry Styles Spotted Again

The UK tabloids are playing a game of the Emperor's New Clothes with the "leaked document" supposedly specifying that a picture and statement about the baby would be released at an appropriate time. This is just that article that appeared in Metroguiltypleasures.com yesterday (and was deleted). I never saw an actual document and neither did anyone else I know. That article from yesterday appears to have served its purpose because today the Sun, Mirror, and Daily Mail all have articles about this document that no one has ever seen and quoting "fans" tweeting about it. 

April the Giraffe has made TMZ because she STILL hasn't given birth. It's a race to see who will drop first - Cheryl or April. 

Harry Styles surfaced in NYC again...at the same midtown steak restaurant he was at the other day. Honey, the food ain't that good! He appeared to be doing a bit of fan service (posing with this dude, two other people, and doing selfies with an entire family....family member by family member). We got it, Harry. You're nowhere near Louis! Edited to add: Harry was apparently spotted at the airport leaving NYC so who knows where he is now!

The star of the night was this bartender, who was giving the stink eye to the fan who was having her entire family take pics with Harry (and later thanked Harry for taking as many pictures as she "needed"). This bartender is my spirit animal and if I'm ever in this particular restaurant, Imma look for the bartender! 

I have since found out the sassy bartender is Patty Ford who has a whole article in the NY Times! He looks like he's about the call for help on his red phone, a prop he uses to tease customers! 

Babygate made Cracked's list of 36 Weirdest Internet Conspiracies.

Chiam Statement About a Statement, Boney M, All Quiet on the Tommo Side

This article has been deleted or moved or something, but there was an article earlier today with a supposed statement from Chiam's lawyers:

‘Within a reasonable period of time after having left hospital, our clients intend to make an official announcement to the media,’ said a statement on behalf of the L’Oréal model and 1D singer.

liam wax blink.gif

I don't know why it was deleted, but they were the only people with that statement so maybe it was all just B.S. LOL. Metro has an article about everyone being on "tenterhooks" waiting for the baby to arrive and I can honestly say I don't think anyone is on tenterhooks about this nonsense. The Sun has a space filler article as well since I think everyone is getting bored waiting for the baby to come and fans keep forgetting it's even a thing.

In an ironic twist, I found out that Boney M - who sings the Daddy Daddy Cool song that Louis Tomlinson tweeted was a fake act set up by the same guy who created Milli Vanilli. Was SBB giving us yet another hint that this shit is fake, yo! (He even used the headphone emoji so you know he's talking about the song!). Frank Farian sang on the song (and even the high falsetto part is him!), but he had hired people "perform" the song on TV. He got away with it in the 70s, but not so much with Milli Vanilli.

Sun's Chiam Baby Timeline is Wild, Harry Styles Spotted, Grrrl Band: Grrroan, Snoop's New Vid

The Sun's Cheryl and Liam Payne baby timeline is hilarious. They flat out admit they thought the baby would be due "in a few days" on February 16th. Now almost a month later, they're still "any day now"-ing it. Meanwhile, Liam's camped out in the studio. Jojo the pap was Captain Obvious with this tweet:

I mean, this is what celebs normally do - release a brief statement like hey, we had a baby and here's a pic. 

Harry Styles was spotted in NYC. Let's hope he gets the fuck out of there before the 20 inches of snow arrive.

The girl band that Louis Tomlinson seems tangentially involved with now seems to be operating as "Grrrl Band" which is just as crappy as Did Alice Call or whatever their other name was. I don't know what the fuck they are doing with this band, but they did some stuff this weekend (met with Syco, performed as Grrrl band at Mint). I literally tried finding video that someone said was on Instagram and I cannot. It shouldn't be this hard to figure out if I like this band or not. 

Edited to add: Someone had to link me to it because I couldn't find it. It's no better or worse than some of the NYC club bands me and my GF have seen over the years. 

A post shared by :) (@girlsrockx) on

Snoop is probably gonna get a visit from the Secret Service for this video:

A Slow Sunday

All was pretty quiet today. No new developments with Louis Tomlinson's case (which is to be expected since it's the weekend and I think they're having him lay low).  

The Jworths would busy promo-ing Krispy Kreme on Snapchat. You really that desperate, Krispy Kreme?

Colton Haynes is not only engaged - he says "soon to be a father" on Instagram so congrats all around. 

Quiet Saturday, Throwbacks, and Congrats to Cristiano

It was a super quiet Saturday. 

Tammi posted a throwback pic of Briana with Eli the chimp who was in the Steal My Girl video (and seems to be a fan of Louis' thighs). The post was hilarious because she hashtagged it #pregnancyglow, but Briana would have barely been 2 weeks pregnant at that point. Their timeline has been so bad from the beginning, considering if we are to believe May 14 was THE DAY (and Brett, the stepfather, said her due date was February 4th, which aligned perfectly on the pregnancy calculator with that date), she wouldn't have even missed a period until the very end of May.

Yet Louis arrives in LA to meet with Briana and Eli the chimp....because that's your first through when you find out you've had an oopsie baby - let's hang with a chimp. I think whoever planned this stunt thought people would be too naive or stupid to notice how weird the dates were (which is ballsy considering 1D fandom is primarily women!). On a side note, it's hilarious to see Briana's old "look". 

Cristiano Ronaldo is expecting twins via an American surrogate who is said to be "heavily pregnant" (despite dating 23-year old girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez). Cristiano Jr was born via surrogate to an unnamed American as well. He was dating Irina Shayk at the time (and Irina is now pregnant from Bradley Cooper which is LOL if you know the rumors there). Anyways, congrats to the happy couple and I think you know what couple I'm talking about. 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/3068531/cristiano-ronaldo-twins-georgina-rodriguez/

Analysis of Police Report in Louis Tomlinson Airport Altercations + Babygate Tarot Reading

Daily Mail got the police report of the altercation at LAX between Louis Tomlinson and the girl Ana. I was a bit surprised TMZ wasn't FIRST!!?!!!!111211 with that since they are actually in LA and have been covering the story (and are known to check for these things, but ok). The police report talks about the various statements they got from Louis, Eleanor, Ana, Ana's spouse Bianca, 2 Starbucks employees, and an airline worker. The accounts all vary pretty wildly so I discuss some of that in my video. Ironically, the person whose account most closely matches the video is Bianca (who doesn't really back up Ana's story that Louis punched Ana in the face). Bianca basically says Louis used a bear hug type maneuver to pull Ana off Eleanor (which does match the Radar Online video). 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4302160/Louis-Tomlinson-s-airport-brawl-revealed-police-report.html#ixzz4axTOvLCH

The accounts also talk about Eleanor starting it by knocking or grabbing Ana's phone. The whole thing sounds messy as hell, but I don't think we'll see too much come out of this (i.e, no jail time). But, it's still annoying to have to read things that are so obviously false like Louis "throwing the photographer to the ground". Our smol son just didn't do that and the video proves that.

I also talk about the babygate tarot reading I did super quick today. I'm not a trained professional so take with a grain of salt. I did the Celtic Cross layout and the numbers are the positions in the cross, the bold is the card that was dealt, and the words after are what that card means. My interpretation is in [ ]

  • 1 present:  justice -  you may face legal action, decisions based on one’s character[this is obvious. louis is facing legal stuff right now]
  • 2 obstacles in the present: the tower-  conflict at home affecting peace, lying [babygate in a nutshell]
  • 3 past: 3 swords - sadness, hurt feelings, sense of loss [death of louis’ mom, although you could relate this to troy, mark, etc.]
  • 4 recent occurrences queen of staffs dominant female strong loving [I read this as jay so this also is about death of his mom] 
  • 5 past exp affect current situation: hanged man - a time of change, may not know what to do, watch and you will see the answer [everything we’ve seen in the past is coming to a head. there’s a power struggle going on and the answer may not be clear]
  • 6 what is in the immediate future: 4 coins territorial, materialistic, contract dispute [this is babygate in a nutshell too combined with what appears to be some lingering contract stuff]
  • 7 how u see yourself: 4 staffs peace positive energy [i think louis overall knows this will end eventually and is doing his best given the situation]
  • 8 how others see you: 2 swords respect, affection, strength, strong friendship [i think louis has a lot of support from harry, 1d, his lads, steve, family and fans]
  • 9 concerns for future - 4 cups disappointment[i read this as worrying that people will be disappointed in him when this all ends or with whatever comes next]
  • 10 outcome of the situation - 9 staffs patience and tenacity [i read this as just hold on! it will end and louis will prevail]

As Miss Cleo says: “Dah cards dem neva lie!”

Ironically, in this Miss Cleo commercial from YouTube, the first caller wants to know who the father of her baby is and Miss Cleo calls it the Miss Cleo DNA test!

Harry Styles Spotted in London, Airport Girl Gives Interview, & Loafer Boots are a Thing

Harry Styles was spotted in London wearing loafer boots. Who knew those were a thing! 

Gucci Loafer Boots

Gucci Loafer Boots

Airport Girl gave an interview to some suspiciously sounding british lady. Pretty sure if she had a lawyer, they would have told her to shut the f up: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1426817/Fan-shares-details-brawl-Louis-Tomlinson.html

The Daily Mail posted Briana's paid photoshoot with a story that was mostly about Louis. But the comments are hilarious - people fighting about why she's wearing thigh high boots to a public park. 

F*ck Unicorn gear is here: https://www.redbubble.com/people/amytelevision

Louis needs some sweans

Eleanor Papped at LAX Leaving....LMAO

My video cuts off at the end because my phone is useless, but you aren't missing much. You can read what I was talking about here.

Our telenovela has taken an interesting turn. Eleanor was papped (LMAO) at LAX getting the fuck outta here. If we're supposed to believe Louis is facing all this drama and "isn't himself", looks like the girlfriend isn't so supportive. We'll see how they spin this but let's talk about how hilarious it is that she got papped at LAX...by the official stunt photog AKM. Wearing bright orange, a hat and sunglasses with two handlers like she's Kim Kardashian. Come on. She's a random brunette. If she put her hair in a pony and strolled in like everyone else there would be no need for a ticker tape parade. Or you fly out of a less known airport if you're that concerned. It's such a farce, but I love seeing how extra they'll get (Spoiler: Super Extra). 

Also, no pics of her leaving Louis' stunt house, which is also funny because how would the paps even know she was going to be there. Again, she's not famous. 

I expect we'll get some sort of article tomorrow. Can't wait to see how they spin it! 

Just Hold On Video Analysis + Airport Girl Claims She Was Punched

TMZ has an article about the girl involved in the altercation at LAX with Louis Tomlinson saying Louis punched her. Now, in looking at the girl's injuries - they look more like the kind you would sustain from a scuffle. It actually just looks like a scratch. A punch would make a more bruised area over a larger area. The girl's claim that she was punched isn't new, but it's the first time TMZ has reported on that specific claim with the pictures of her injuries. It's been interesting to watch TMZ pretty much ignore the Radar Online video, which has a pretty good view of most of what went down that day. As you all have noted, that's probably because once they show it, a lot of this talk and debate goes away because you can see what happened in the video. But, let's be real. We know Harvey and company know the video is out there and they have seen it for sure. So, the choice not to discuss appears deliberate. Only time will tell why.

By the way, the injury photos are credited to the same photog (Coleman-Rayner) who did the fake paparazzi shoot of Tammi (Briana's mom) right after the pregnancy announcement (a hilarious piece of performance art that was!) as well as pictures of Briana debuting her bump her last bump pic before "delivering", and one of the pics of Louis after Freddie was born. It's a photog-for-hire company, which makes it look super suspicious, especially given that it's one of the photogs that have shot pics of this whole stunt.

dont be suspicous.jpg